Thursday, December 30, 2010
I like to think of myself as a somewhat fashionable and was dreading the fact that I may have to put that to the side during my pregnancy. I stumbled upon H&M in New York over the summer and was super excited to see one open up in Tucson. They have super cute and fashionable clothing for super affordable and this fashionista is and forever will be a hardcore shopper who has to do it within reason so I love that this store marries the two--super cute with super affordable. While I love that they are very affordable I also love that they have a maternity section. When I stumbled upon this find I thought, "My prayers have been answered...I don't have to give up being fashionable just because certain parts of me are getting bigger." Now, granted the maternity section is literally a small section of a wall thrown in between baby gear and the entire section would probably fit into my closet...I was still super excited. That is..until today. I've bought maternity clothes from here previously and had a lot more success but now that I've gotten more baby shall we say and today was not a good day. As my mom and her friend were passing me clothes in the fitting room, we noticed a trend of me needing a size large. This instantly reduced me to tears and a quiet crying in the fitting room while I'm squeezing into pants too small or putting on tops too big. I know there is nothing wrong with needing to wear a size large but for someone who hasn't ever needed to buy a shirt or sweater in size large unless it was a sweatshirt it was quite jarring. Out of all of the things I tried on I ended up with a blue and white pin stripe shirt and black dress pants that I can wear to work. I was so upset that all I wanted to do was pay and get out of the store and mall.
It's time for a bathroom break and I end up sitting on the fountain in the middle of the mall crying to my mom about how I'm not one of those cute pregnant ladies. I'm actually ugly and huge and so not cute. My mom is trying to explain to me that buying larger clothes doesn't mean anything bad all it means is I'm going to grow and if I buy bigger now it'll save me money and time down the road. I know she's right but again...all I can think of is how huge I am and how ugly I am. She assures me I'm neither and asks me if I think other pregnant ladies are ugly and I say of course not...they're ALL cute...it's just me.
Anyway, she coaxes me to going into Motherhood to look for more clothes and she and her friend were literally running circles around the store pulling anything cute. I ended up with a decently sized wardrobe that can be mixed and matched and will last me until this baby decides to enter the world. It did help that they had a baby bump that I could put on and once I did that I understood the point of buying larger sized clothes. All stores that offer a maternity section should have these pretend baby bumps. It just makes the process much easier and more satisfying.
I know that I'm not fat I just have baby but it's very hard to see your body change and grow when you're not used to it or when you don't always feel so cute and pretty pre-preggoness. I know that this is only temporary and the gain is so worth the changes but it still doesn't make it any easier..at least not for this mommy-to-be.
Now...on to the registry. After leaving the mall with a decidedly cute wardrobe we made our way over to Babies R' Us to complete the registry only to find it closed due to a gas leak. Seriously...not the way to end the day. Oh well, guess this will have to wait until later in January.
I will say I'm so glad my mom was there to talk me off the ledge. I know I'm hormonal but she gets and understands me and is there to offer encouragement and rub my back when I'm crying in the middle of the mall. You're never to old for your mom.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
We've been in this house for I think 2.5-3 years now and my room slowly became a landmine. It was fine and manageable until I was finally evicted from my parent's house and all the junk that was in my room there was put into boxes and brought to this house. Then the weekend we got married we hosted a family BBQ and Robert and his mom and brother David cleaned the house and put all of the junk into the closet and somehow more junk just accumulated. There was literally a path from the door of the room to my computer. No room to move around. Nonetheless, with baby Jameson on the way it was time to get it together and cleaned. And I've been having insane moments where I just need to clean. So cleaning out his room seemed fitting since I've got 2 weeks off of school and I've been needing to get it done. I imagined stretching it out over the 2 weeks, doing a little here and a little there but no..this insane pregnant person has taken over my body and the room was cleaned out in 6 hours. The process made the room look like a hoarder's fantasy.
Now when I'm cleaning or organizing I usually will debate over every item deciding if it REALLY needs to go or if I could somehow use it again...well not this time. If I hadn't touched it in the time I've been in this house it was gone. I have 7 boxes of books that I need to take to Bookman's. I found all of my college papers and a pair of mittens I've been searching for for years. Three giant black Glad bags of trash later and two giant black Glad bags of donations the room is finally organized and cleaned. It's ready for me to move my junk out of and start painting and decorating, which I'm so excite to do. His room is going to be super cute! The only hold up is my hubby's man cave. It desperately needs to be cleaned out and organized...which may be my project next week. Wish me luck...
Here's the mess and madness that was Jameson's room.
Here's the closet now. The stuff on the right of the picture starting with the blue hamper is stuff we already have for Jameson...clothes and books. The pile in the middle with the gray cart and box needs to go to my classroom. And the pile on the left with the Pyrex box and beyond is stuff that needs to go out into our storage shed. The stuffed animals which can't be seen in this picture are getting bagged and donated.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Last Wednesday, we had our 21 week appt. plus the ultrasound to find out what our baby was/is..I guess. I had told my kiddos on Monday that they'd get to find out on Thursday morning what the baby was and they were so excited. All I could hear was "oooh, I hope it's a girl" from all of 1st grade ladies...the boys could care less. One of my girls even told me that she had baby girl and baby boys clothes at home that she could bring me. The parents that know about it kept telling me I hope your baby cooperates and is in the right position and honestly that thought had never crossed my mind. The baby had been so much more active lately that I just assumed it would be in the right position. Nevertheless, now that thought was ingrained in my mind.
Everyone had been asking me what I thought we were having and I really had no idea. At first, when we first found out we were pregnant I thought it was a girl just because I really want to have a little girl but as the weeks went by I thought it was probably a boy since Robert has 2 brothers, although I'm not entirely sure what the significance of that is. Anyway, so with no real thought behind my reasoning, I thought it was a boy.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Some of our poinsettias.
Oh...sorry for the random trivia...but in case you're ever on Jeopardy and you win because of one of these facts you can send half your winnings to me..broke teacher. =)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I need these guys in my front yard....don't tell my husband. =)
Here I am at 20 weeks.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Yes, I know they're Uggs and I yes, I know I live in Southern Arizona but nonetheless, I have always wanted a pair of Uggs. Not so I can wear them with cut-off shorts ala all the celebrities but so I can just wear them over my skinny jeans or just because my feet are always cold. This is the exact pair I want in this color as well...chestnut. Is anyone else picking up on the *hint, hint.
Guess we'll have to see if I've been a good girl or not this year. =)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Yes folks that's right...a gallon of paint spilled all over the floor of the Arizona room. As I'm yelling "OH MY GOD" along comes my good friend Apollo who decides to explore with mommy and steps in it. Well, the paint is still wet and he slips scaring himself and flinging paint on my pants, shoes and himself as he tries to get out of it. Somehow, I managed to grab him before he ran into the house and all over the carpet. Here he is with paint on his paws. Doesn't he look happy?
Would anyone like a 2 year old boxer and 3 year old pit bull? I promise you'll never be bored!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The program went really well and the kiddos definitely loved Mrs. Faust dressed as a Pilgrim. I didn't get any pictures of it but you can imagine...long black dress, white apron, white neck thingy and white hat. I was so proud of my kiddos though. We've been working very hard for the past two week to learn our songs to include sign language for What a Wonderful World, and a small skit. I also had a colleague decide she wanted to do it too. So coordinating 50 1st graders was definitely a feat in its own right but nonetheless, after a rough dress rehearsal yesterday they pulled it together and did a great job today! Our feast also went pretty well. This is the 2nd year I've decided to do it and I stressed the day before last year and yesterday as well. Cooking...well preparing food with 26 1st graders is not easy plus lugging it all home to cook sucks! I worried that I wouldn't have enough food for the parents but turns out there was nothing to worry about. I swore last year I wasn't going to do a big feast again and this I'm swearing that I won't do it again next year but it's fun despite the amount of work and stress that is involved. It's also totally worth it when you're kiddos tell you it's been the best day of their lives.
But in even more exciting news...I think I felt the baby move! It happened on Sunday at my parents house. I was half laying and half sitting in their recliner and I felt this kicking sensation on the right side of my stomach twice. I wasn't sure at first but when I telling Robbie in the car on the way home, he asked if I'd ever felt it before and no I haven't...so yay there is a person in there. =) I keep hoping it'll happen again but no so luck as of yet.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Not to mention talking to the same parents over and over about the same occurrences in my classroom. I feel like a tape recorder..."What did I just say", "If you we're listening you would have heard me explain how to do that", "If I could finish what I'm saying instead of having to repeat myself, we could move on with our day", "No, you may not go to the bathroom because you're not asking me the right way", "Are you supposed to get up out of your seat and follow me around", along with my favorites "I'm done...I have no more patience for this", "Honey, I don't know what that says...you wrote it which means you should be able to read it", "If you have to ask me what something says that you've written, you probably need to go back and fix it", "Is this your 100% very, very best handwriting", and "I know someone wants to talk to me but I don't know who that person is because they're not in their seat with their hand in the air".
Yes, I know I teach 1st grade and these kiddos are only 6 and 7 but I expect a lot from them in terms of academics and behavior. Especially, when we spend the first six weeks of school learning how to do things and practicing over and over again. I've also found in my very short time in this profession that they are capable of a lot, especially when you have high standards and expect them to do their very best. We learn very quickly that "I can't" is an unacceptable phrase in 1st grade as everything I give them is something they can do but some days might need some help. We also learn very quickly that it's all about choices. I don't have bad students, just students who sometimes make back choices for example if you choose to play during a work time, then you work during play time...should that be your morning recess or lunch recess that choice is yours to make.
Sometimes I really wonder if I get anything done besides redirect behaviors. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting through to any of them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting through to the parents. But when I hit this path I always manage to stumble upon something that puts it into perspective whether it's one of my kiddos coming up to me an telling me that they didn't used to like Junie B. until I started reading it to them because it sounds "magical" when I read. That of course was followed by the question, "Is there periods on those pages" to which my response was "...Yes, why"? and her response was "Well when my sister reads it, it doesn't sound like there are periods". "Well, maybe you should read it to her, to help her see that reading should sound like talking". Or I happen to stumble across something that makes me see...yes someone else gets what I'm doing here. Tonight I found my inspiration in Taylor Mali. He's a teacher and the poet who wrote the poem, "What do I make". Totally made me laugh out loud and gain a little perspective...while I'm pulling my hair out...I am and do make a difference.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
See this is part they so thoughtfully left out when I sitting in the College of Ed. learning how to be teacher. The political part. And the part on how to play the game. I have to say that I'm exhausted from playing the game. I'm so tired of people who have never been in a classroom, other than to the smile and wave and act interested in what I do, or the people who were in the classroom but for a few short years before they jumped into the pond they really wanted to swim in, dictating what in their minds is "best practice". I don't want to play the game. The game has no business being in my business. I signed on to teach and better kids--not listen to you tell me what you think I should do based on what another district does that has nothing in common with mine other than the fact that they have schools. I didn't sign on to read a script all day. I did not sign on to sit in meeting after meeting just to be told I need to go to another meeting to discuss another meeting. I didn't sign on to follow behind people with questions that should've been answered from the get go and ideas that they should be thinking up on their own.
I find it amazing that while I'm expected to have my ducks in a row and have my crap together, it's completely acceptable for people who are in charge of "managing" me to not have there's together. It makes it very frustrating and disheartening to go to work every day. It makes me wonder what my job will look like in 5 or 10 years. Will I even be needed or will everything be done on a computer or via a robot who can pick up a script and read it? It makes me wonder if this is something I really want to do for the next 27 years before I can even think about retirement. I love what I do. I really do. I get such a joy from working with kids although some days I have to count to 10 in my head and take a lot of deep breaths. It's not the kids or typical stuff that comes from a working in such close quarters with other people. It's the people who really don't get it and think that the only important thing is to be competitive in the time of charter schools and standards that come from state departments who really don't understand what kids need.
Friday, November 5, 2010
But again...I just spent the last two hours cleaning my house. I mean dusting everything...base boards, shelves, behind the TV in our room and my perfume bottles. I vacuumed like it was going out of style and steamed mopped my floors to include the kitchen which usually gets swiffered as an after thought. Holy Cleaning. And surprisingly I feel so much better.
I don't know...I'm perplexed by pregnancy. I officially can't fit into the majority of my jeans which makes me increasingly sad as the days go by. I love jeans! I probably would've worn them to my wedding had I not loved my wedding dress so much. I'm also finding that my memory is fading and quickly. Yesterday, I spent my entire morning looking for 3 green attendance cards that I swore I took out of my box at school. I remember taking them out of my box, stopping to talk to another 1st grade teacher and then getting to my room as the bell rang. After that I have no freaking memory of what happened to the cards. I looked like a freaking nut picking up piles of paper and looking in both of my trash cans 4 times each. Going through my kiddos folders and very close to tearing through their backpacks. I repeatedly asked them "Did anyone pick up green cards from my table" and "What did Mrs. Faust do when we came into the classroom"? God bless 1st graders, they tried in earnest to help me find them but then I think they just got a kick out of it because as we we're lining up for lunch and I'm frantically searching for these stupid cards trying to keep myself from crying like a 1st grader, I began to hear whispers of "Watch Mrs. Faust, she's looking for those cards again". Hello..when you have 25 1st graders watching you for pure enjoyment...there's a problem. Anyway...as I'm leaving the cafeteria to go eat my lunch I'm debating in my head if I should go tell our lovely secretaries what this preggo lady did, while telling another 1st grade teacher what my problem is...I go to the my mailbox and what should I find? The three cards that have left me in an absolute panic. You'd think finding them would have made my life, but no...I'm saddened to realize that my thought process and short term memory are most definitely fading. And good news...apparently this lasts through the pregnancy and after.
I'm sorry but at this point...I don't find this experience "magical".. I find it to be frustrating. Oh I know...it'll be so worth it once we have the sweet bundle of happiness but until then are you kidding me? I'm 15 weeks...I've got like 160-something more days.
I would just like to go and drink an AMP (I think...I have no idea but whatever energy drink I was addicted to in college). But I think that's definitely not allowed. =/
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Even though I'm completely stressed and am slowly crossing over that "I'm officially CRAZY and HORMONAL line", I'm very excited to start decorating the baby's room. Our theme is going to be owls. Those of you who know me, know I'm OBSESSED with all things ladybug. But I'm also equally obsessed with owls...when they're cartoony looking. And I figure they can go either way..girly or boy. I have this whole idea in my head about a mural I would like the hubs to paint on the wall...he's not as excited as about it but I'm sure I can talk him into it. =) I've bought fabric to make the baby a quilt. No, I do not sew nor do I know how to work a sewing machine currently but in the next 6 months I plan to. =) I feel it's a mothery thing to do. We'll see....
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I'm an advisor for a club at my school called K-Kids and my little contribution is fundraising. So I work with about 12 kids to come up with ideas on how to raise to money for our club and one idea we had (which we copied from 2 year's ago) was to do Halloween candygrams for the whole school. I had no idea how INSANE it was going to be. You could buy one candy gram for .25 or the whole sheet of 4 for $1.00. When all was said and done we made about $320 and ended up with 1278 candygrams. That's a lot of lollipops. It was fun and the kids enjoyed getting their candygrams. But thankfully we're taking a long break from candygrams...until St. Patrick's Day.
The same week as candygrams, I decided to do my annual Pumpkin Extravaganza with my kiddos. Their job is to estimate how much their pumpkin weighs, how big around it is and how many seeds are inside. Then they have to find the actual number of all those areas. When they're all done they get to make a jack-o-lantern out of their pumpkin. This was the 1st year that all of my parents who said they would help showed up, so I didn't have a group. I'm still not sure how I feel about it but walking around taking pictures and managing groups was still a job in itself. I took pictures of the jack-o-lanterns and will upload them later. But all-in-all the kids had a fun and they did a great job!
Friday was our school's annual Fall Parade where everyone gets to where their costumes to school and the K-2 kiddos get to march while the 3-6 and parents are our audience. The theme this year was the Wizard of Oz and I was Dorothy for our grade level. No...I didn't get picture but I have a ton of moms who played the paparazzi part so I'm sure I'll be able to track one down that I scan in. Although one of my fellow teachers told me I looked pregnant in my Dorothy outfit and I should wear more dresses like that. I'm getting to that awkward "is she pregnant" or "just chubby" phase.
This week alone was super busy with activities not to mention having a meeting after school everyday although I did opt out of the meeting on Thursday because I just couldn't sit and listen to people talk anymore about stuff they are going to change later on down the road anyway.
I'm so glad it's the weekend...I need to recharge and gear up for November craziness which will entail putting on a program for my kiddo's parents and making our Thanksgiving feast.
The life of a teacher....we're either very dedicated or just crazy or maybe a little of both. =)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I'm 13 weeks...well I guess it'll be 14 weeks tomorrow. They say I'll be due April 27. I got to hear the heartbeat last Friday. The hubs was in Tucson getting his education on so my mom went with me. It was super cool and I'm pretty sure I'll remember that forever. According to the nurse the baby was very active, moving around a lot. I have no idea how they can tell that, the heartbeat sounded the same to me the whole time but nonetheless it was a good strong heartbeat. I feel like it's a little more real since I don't have a belly yet although it is getting harder to suck it in everyday. =) I have to admit I can't wait to start wearing maternity clothes...I plan on wearing polka dots. =)
Our next appointment is in November and I'll be 17 weeks and then hopefully a few weeks ago we'll be able to actually see this kid. People keep asking me what I think we're having...I thought it was a girl for awhile but now I think it's a boy. Either way this kid's closet is going to be fully stocked. =)
My kiddos are so excited for me...they keep telling me they hope it's a little girl so I can have a "little Mrs. Faust". One of my girls even said to me "Mrs. Faust, in 6 years your baby will be 6 and going to 1st grade. You should be it's teacher so it won't have to leave you". So freaking cute!
The nurse did say at our last appointment that the baby can hear me...which makes me a little nervous since I think all it hears is me using my "teacher voice" with my kiddos. This poor baby isn't going to want to come out since all it's probably listening to is me saying "Where are you supposed to be right now", "Are you working or playing", "I don't know...who's job is it to keep track of that" or my favorite "I'm done". Hopefully it's true what they say about kids not remembering anything before like age 3 or 4. Guess we'll find out...
Monday, October 25, 2010
Tonight my hubs decided to go out with me and search for the missing pieces to my Halloween costume of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. After visiting every major store in this town, and one minor mishap at K-Mart that involved this lady hula hooping in the middle of an aisle and actually slamming the hula hoop into the shelf holding the baby dolls, and laughing hysterically for 3 minutes, we found ourselves at Target. As we were walking in we saw a guy, we'll call him Journeyman, who looked weathered and in need of help of some kind...the hubs noticed one of his soles was falling off and asked if we should offer to buy him new shoes...I agreed and went into the store as he went to ask Journeyman if we could help. After searching in vain at every store for the coveted "ruby red slippers" I decided to settle on red chucks and call it a day. I found my size and also found my husband with Journeyman in the shoe department. I didn't notice Journeyman...he walked on ahead. I went on my quest to find a sufficient Toto and ha..mission accomplished I ventured back to the shoe department and found hubs and Journeyman there. This is where I finally said hi and as he looked up I recognized him as a kid I swam with in high school. He was decidedly as surprised to see me as I was to see him. We had a short conversation and he decided on his shoes but seemed reluctant. We all trudged up to the counters and they decided to do another lap while I bought my stuff. 10 minutes later they come walking out empty-handed. When I asked the hubs what happened he said Journeyman backed out saying they were too expensive. The car ride home was very quiet...when we got home the hubs decided to go back out and try to find Journeyman at Walmart where he said he was headed.
The point of this post is not helping out a stranger who turned out not to be so much of a stranger but what happens in a few short years (it'll be 8 years since I said goodbye to high school and probably 7 since I last saw Journeyman) to a person that causes them to go from what appears to be a shining future to a weathered person who has probably experienced more than they should in their 20-something years? It makes me wonder where are those faces attached to those people I spent 3-4 years with? What has happened in their lives?
I know I wake up some days wondering if this is really my life. I would say I'm very happy with my life...I love my husband--he is the best person I could've ended up with and he makes me laugh uncontrollably and he lets me be my most ridiculous self--which if you know me, you know can be absolutely ridiculous. I love my job and can't imagine doing anything else and I'm so excited to be a mommy (it's what I was born to do...I think) but there are those moments where I think back to college and wonder what if I had chosen that over this or gone that way instead of this? Would I still have ended up in this place?