what do I make?

This week has been an absolute crazy one! With a holiday on a Thursday and school the day after made for quite an interesting week. This week has been very trying in my patience. I don't know if it's because of the kind of class I have this year, or the fact that I'm pregnant or maybe a little of both but I find myself counting to 10 while taking deep breaths a lot more than I have in the past...mind you this is only my 3rd year. But this week alone...something has been off. My class has literally turned into the Wild Things...I even asked if they had taken a journey to a remote island and encountered the Wild Things. They of course giggled and said no. But nonetheless this week alone, I have one kiddo who is bankrupt (I use a banking system as my reward system), I took away Fun Friday, took all 25 kiddos to the Principal's office for a "field trip" and taken away the privilege to move around for centers...now they get to sit at their seats and everyone does the same center instead of rotating each day to the 5 different centers, oh and I've also taken away going to the carpet and had a few private conversations in the hallway. I used the term the Wild Things because I literally had kiddos playing games under their tables, rolling around on the carpet, hitting/shoving/pushing, using scissors to cut up my crayons, and erasers and breaking pencils.

Not to mention talking to the same parents over and over about the same occurrences in my classroom. I feel like a tape recorder..."What did I just say", "If you we're listening you would have heard me explain how to do that", "If I could finish what I'm saying instead of having to repeat myself, we could move on with our day", "No, you may not go to the bathroom because you're not asking me the right way", "Are you supposed to get up out of your seat and follow me around", along with my favorites "I'm done...I have no more patience for this", "Honey, I don't know what that says...you wrote it which means you should be able to read it", "If you have to ask me what something says that you've written, you probably need to go back and fix it", "Is this your 100% very, very best handwriting", and "I know someone wants to talk to me but I don't know who that person is because they're not in their seat with their hand in the air".

Yes, I know I teach 1st grade and these kiddos are only 6 and 7 but I expect a lot from them in terms of academics and behavior. Especially, when we spend the first six weeks of school learning how to do things and practicing over and over again. I've also found in my very short time in this profession that they are capable of a lot, especially when you have high standards and expect them to do their very best. We learn very quickly that "I can't" is an unacceptable phrase in 1st grade as everything I give them is something they can do but some days might need some help. We also learn very quickly that it's all about choices. I don't have bad students, just students who sometimes make back choices for example if you choose to play during a work time, then you work during play time...should that be your morning recess or lunch recess that choice is yours to make.

Sometimes I really wonder if I get anything done besides redirect behaviors. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting through to any of them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting through to the parents. But when I hit this path I always manage to stumble upon something that puts it into perspective whether it's one of my kiddos coming up to me an telling me that they didn't used to like Junie B. until I started reading it to them because it sounds "magical" when I read. That of course was followed by the question, "Is there periods on those pages" to which my response was "...Yes, why"? and her response was "Well when my sister reads it, it doesn't sound like there are periods". "Well, maybe you should read it to her, to help her see that reading should sound like talking". Or I happen to stumble across something that makes me see...yes someone else gets what I'm doing here. Tonight I found my inspiration in Taylor Mali. He's a teacher and the poet who wrote the poem, "What do I make". Totally made me laugh out loud and gain a little perspective...while I'm pulling my hair out...I am and do make a difference.